Reflections

I was driving home from a great girl’s day out on Saturday and did some reflecting on my life and thought I would let you peek into the heart of Kara while I reflect on turning 30.

I think it is only a big deal to turn 30 because there was probably some famous woman who had a hard time. And now because she did, we all have too. For me it’s not so much the actual # 30, as it is what I am supposed to be like by the time I am 30. Mostly what bugs me are physical things, but I am not going to go into that today. I just need to live with it. So here are a few nuggets of reflection that I am throwing out there for humors sake:

I regret that I didn’t laugh a little more when I was a child. I wanted to be grown up so much. And now that I am “grown up” I wish for a few more carefree days.

I regret that I have felt badly that I didn’t finish my college education. I do feel it is important, but I tried my very best in a most difficult situation. I can’t compare my life with anyone’s and I do that too much. During the time that I moved out and started my college years, my life as I knew shattered and I did my very best to keep my head above water. So I wish I could give myself a little break and not feel so bad about that. It is a goal of mine and I will probably be a 70 yr old college graduate, but hey Kara ease up on yourself, you’re a live.

Along those same lines I regret I didn’t get my cosmetology license. I have a few passions in my life and hair is one of them. I know I could be great. But I was talked out of it. So now I can’t decide if I should go to cosmetology school first or a University first.

I regret that I compare myself to other women. Need I say more?

Now don’t worry this is not a pity party I just thought I would get the regrets out of the way so I can end with what I am glad and grateful for.

I will be forever grateful that I served a mission. I know that we serve missions to teach the gospel and help people change so they can come closer to Christ, but I am the one who did most of the changing. It is one of those experiences that will forever be what helped shape who I am and who I want to become.

I am grateful that I got my heart broken again and again and again. I wear my heart on my sleeve, always have, and always will. As I look back and see many of the same mistakes with many guys I feel that I was at least true to who I am. And who I am is who Chris fell in love with. And at least I know for a surety that no one else is a better match for me than Chris. Most of the time he gets me and I get him.

I am grateful that I try to have an open mind. I really try not to ever say I will never do something. Because life changes and you just never know what will happen. If I didn’t have an open mind I would have never let Chris take a job in Colorado. I would never have known how much I LOVE it here. I never thought Colorado was an option, goodness I had never been here before, but I love everything about it here.

I am glad I listened to the Spirit and conceived Audrey after just 4 months of marriage instead of waiting for like a year. Everyone tells you, you should wait awhile, but I am glad I listened to the Spirit and not man on this one. I can’t imagine if we had waited and missed that window. Going through our miscarriage and having the difficulties we are having now I can’t imagine if I had ignored the Spirit for selfish reasons. This would have been in my regret category.

I am glad that I cut my hair and dyed it brown last year. It was horrific and didn’t look good at all. But now I know for ASSURITY that I like my hair blonde and longer. Won’t ever be to my waist or anything but it looks best around my shoulders. And this knowledge has saved me a lot of hours of wondering.

**By the way, my birthday party is Saturday May 24th!! If your not busy Memorial day weekend you are all invited to come celebrate the 70's with me. (I was born in 1978)